Miss You Most At Christmas Time
by Skittles1
Summary: It's Christmas time and Milly misses the man she loves. She reflects on their relationship and what's happened since his death. Does she had a jewel of happiness, especially around that season?


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Author's Note: Takes place after the Trigun series. I don't own Trigun or the song "Miss You Most (At Christmas Time) by Mariah Carey. I was in the mood for something Christmas-like but not one of the silly, completely joyful stories but don't worry, it's not all angst. Please review and tell me what you think of it! Enjoy!

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~*Miss You Most (At Christmas Time)*~

'~*~' By: Lauren '~*~'

It was a wooden house that was nicely built upon a tiny hill. A few rare trees surrounded the area, giving the house an almost hidden look. There were a few glass windows but at the very moment, they were fogged up. Smoke curled out of a stone chimney that protruded from tiles on the roof. Around the house the trees were bare except for the sparkling white snow that littered its branches. A few inches sat on the ground, untouched for the moment but it was sure to be ruined once the children discovered it. The roof was blanketed with the white, frozen water known as snow also, and the front walkway still had to be shoved clear. How she had found an area of the sort, she didn't know. Milly Thompson liked to believe that Wolfwood had led her there. He had found her a serene sanctuary for her to live in and it wasn't quite far off from where Meryl and Vash lived.

How _had _she found it? 

It was when she was living in grief over her lost loved one. Meryl and Vash had been married and Milly decided she didn't want to be a third wheel to their party. So she had left them regretfully, wandering the lands for a while until, in her weakest moment, she had stumbled upon a mountain. A mountain with grass, trees and capped with snow. Because of its height to the sky, it had snow, which melted sometimes and watered the earth, which allowed the plants to grow. It was a beautiful area, filled with birds and animals. That was when she decided to settle down there. She decided it wouldn't be so bad to live there, away from some of the bustle of the cities. She told Meryl and Vash of it and they had moved near the mountain base, giving Milly and themselves some privacy. Milly loved her friends dearly but she hated it when they pitied her. She could see it in their eyes when they looked at her.

They were the couple that had ended up with a happily ever after.

She was the woman whose lover had died.

Her chocolate brown hair was spread out on the living room couch as she lounged on it, her eyes trailed to the fire that was burning. The wood crackled and sparkled, making the room aglow with a warm, yellow-orange color. She could hear the rustle of the December winds blowing against the house walls, causing it to creak slightly. She shivered, humming softly to herself.

~*~

__

The fire is burning

The room's all aglow

Outside the December wind blows

Away in the distance

The carolers sing in the snow

~*~

Her memories floated back to the day before. Meryl and Vash had been at her house helping her decorate for Christmas and for the kids. There had been so much laughter and joy, Milly thought she'd break down and cry over it. Sometimes...it hurt to laugh. It hurt to laugh knowing that he was gone and that she'd never hear his laughter again. She shook her head, fighting the tears that had suddenly sprung into her eyes. She had so much to be grateful for and yet...every time Christmas came around...it was hard. 

She wanted to be grateful for this wonderful place to live, her Meryl and Vash, for the money she had and for the food on her table and yet...sometimes it was just too hard. Everybody had some kind of jewel of happiness.

Where was hers?

Why had she lost hers?

She had only just found it. Then it had been stole away brutally from her and it was always hardest...on this day. Hardest at Christmas time...

~*~

__

Everybody's laughing

The world is celebrating

And everyone's so happy

Except for me tonight

Because...

I miss you

Most at Christmas time

And I can't get you

Get you off my mind

Every other season comes along

And I'm all right

But then I miss you

Most at Christmas time

~*~

She had only realized it a few years ago, but...it had been in December when she had met Nicholas D. Wolfwood. She had been out in the sandy, hot areas of the world with Vash and Meryl and Mr. Priest. And now...on the same day...she sat inside her house, snow outside, sitting all alone.

Her gaze fell on the window and she stared outside at the cold winters' night. Crystal, pearly snowflakes cascaded down to the earth. Every snowflake was different, patterned with a unique design. Further down, through the hazy fog of the window, she could see twinkling lights from a nearby town. They were probably candles from families up celebrating Christmas or another holiday of the sort. Everybody...was together. Their families were complete but not hers, no, never hers.

She sat in the darkness of her house, the fire embers glowing as it began to lose its source of fuel. She wondered if Wolfwood could see her now and what he would think. 

Would he feel sorry for her like Meryl and Vash felt?

Would he be angry with her for sitting here, crying over him?

Would he embrace her, and hold her tightly against his strong chest?

Would he tenderly whisper that he loved her into her ear?

She figured the last three were correct. More hot tears began to brim in her eyes then dribble down her cheeks as she remembered the times when he had been hers. She bit her lip, muffling her sobs as she thought to herself_, "You'll always be mine..." _

~*~

__

I gaze out the window

This cold winters' night

At all of the twinkling lights

Alone in the darkness

Remembering when you were mine

~*~

She wanted to smile. She wanted to be happy so badly but...it felt wrong to be happy. It felt wrong to be joyful when he was gone, especially around this time. She missed him. She missed him _so much _she thought she could just die. There had been only one thing that had kept her going strong for the last six years.

Their son and daughter- Nicky and Rose. They had been twins, one male and one female.

Milly had named their boy Nicholas but called him Nicky because it was sometimes a painful reminder of what she had lost. He was rambunctious, just like his father. He had been graceful with the same raven black hair as his father but the pale skin color of his mother. Rose had been born with dark hair also but it was more of a dark chocolate color, not black. She had tanned skinned like her father. Her personality seemed a mix of her parents, part of her wild while another part was quiet and silly. Her brother was the mature one of the two.

She could hear the twins in the room next door, both of them giggling as they whispered to each other. They probably couldn't sleep because Santa was due to come that night and excitement had claimed their young hearts. Milly smiled weakly. Wolfwood hadn't left her _entirely _alone. She had her two angels...even if at times, raising them alone was hard. She was glad the kids were happy only she wished she could be too.

Why did it have to be Christmas?

Why did Christmas have to be so painful?

~*~

__

Everybody's smiling

The whole world is rejoicing

And everyone's embracing

Except for you and I

Baby... I miss you

Most at Christmas time

And I can't get you

Get you off my mind

Every other season comes along

And I'm all right

But then I miss you

Most at Christmas time

~*~

The years seemed to fly by so fast. One second it would be springtime and the children would be running through the wild flower fields. That was when her memories of Wolfwood would start to fade and the pain wasn't so bad. It would go from a numbing stab to a throbbing, distant ache. With the April rains, her tears would be washed away and she would be renewed. Milly would start out fresh again and last through the happy, summer days of relaxing in the sun. After that, autumn's leaves turned golden-red and fell to the earth. Soon all the leaves are gone, like her pain. But then the snow would begin to fall and memories would return.

Sorrow and longings would return.

Closing her eyes, Milly drifted into a sweet slumber with tears staining her rosy cheeks.

~*~

__

In the springtime

Those memories start to fade

With the April rain

Through the summer days

Till Autumn's leaves are gone

I get by without you

Till the snow begins to fall

And then...

~*~

Milly's hazy vision slowly focused as she was quickly shaken away by Nicky's tiny hands. She blinked, rubbing her sore red eyes from the nights' tears. Trying to figure things out, she realized it was Christmas morning. Gifts wrapped in colorful paper adorn with ribbons graced the bottom of the Christmas tree while Nicky and Rose both jumped around her joyfully.

"SANTA CAME!! MOMMY, SANTA CAME!" Rose giggled, her chubby cheeks twisting up into a grin.

Nicky smiled, hugging his moms arm as he noticed her confused and messy state. "You okay mommy?" He looked up at her, his large eyes filled with concern. "You miss daddy still?"

Tears brimmed her eyes once again at Nicky's words. She smiled warmly; gently picking her son up in her arms while Rose clambered onto the couch next to her. She pulled them both into a big hug. "Yeah, I miss him but...I know he's here with us right now. I know it..." After a moment's silence, she plunged her hands towards Nicky's stomach, tickling him madly. He giggled, trying to get away as Rose ran over to open gifts.

~*~

__

I miss you

Most at Christmas time

And I can't get you

Get you off my mind

Every other season comes along

And I'm all right

But then I miss you

Most at Christmas time

~*~

Milly smiled, shaking her head.

She had been so wrong.

She could hear Nicholas D. Wolfwood's laughter any time of the day- all she had to do was make her son laugh.

She _did_ have a jewel of happiness in her life.

In fact, she had two.


End file.
